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” The computers and lights buzzed for some time, and I don’t know how long. I must have drifted off for a few minutes, and I woke up with tears on my cheeks. Someone said my name. “Brian?” I rubbed the tears off my face and grunted. “Brian, can you look at me?” I shook my head, no. Hands on my shoulders, kneading. “I’m sorry, Brian. I said all the wrong things. ..and…” “Sorry,” I said. “No, I’m sorry. You were right. I do want to make love to you. That’s why i’ve flirted with you ever since I met you. But I don’t want to lose you as a friend because we become lovers.” “That’s the oldest lie in the book,” I said. “Lovers don’t stop being friends.” I twisted my neck, loosing a kink, keeping My eyes to the desktop. “I’m sorry, Brian,” she said. “But I’m scared of this thing. Your intensity scares me. My intensity for you scares me.” “Brian, i’ll make love to you if you want me to. Just show me how to not be scared of it.” “Can I trust you?” I defended myself. “You’re as frightened as I. ’ I smiled again and she looked at me and said, ‘That’s better isn’t it?’ It was. ‘I wish I was as comfortable as you with myself.’ That just came out, I was feeling more comfortable being with Leah or I would never have said that. ‘ How much time do you have?’ She asked very matter of fact. ‘ What?’ She mocked me, ‘Whaaat?’ Smiled, and then spoke very honestly. ‘How much time do you have? We can get started right now. I don’t know who has been spilling low self esteem in your ear but stop listening to them right now. You are not some hopeless tragedy, you’re very cute actually. You just need some work here and there to get it to all come together. A little behavior modification to get you into good ‘aesthetically pleasing’ habits is all you need. Just a little training and you are on your way.’ ‘Really? You would help me? Give me some pointers? That would be so great!’ ‘No, no pointers. I would help you makeover your life. I’m not talking fussing and preening yourself all the time.
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